Fun With Gender Stereotyping: Pt.1 Bitches

(This is the first of a two parter. I should have PT.2 up tomorrow so make sure to check back! In the mean time feel free to share PT.1 with your friends and families.)

I think I might be sexist.

I think I might be sexist and I don’t feel bad about it. The way I see it, all stereotypes had to come from somewhere and as long as you know they aren’t always true or you belong to the group you’re prejudice is directed at it’s totally cool to go to town. In the spirit of this belief I think gender stereotypes are some of the funniest shit. I know it’s probably detrimental to my own sex but I love me a well executed kitchen joke.

Image

(That shit tickles my fancy.)

In fact I make so many of them myself that I’m starting to believe half the slanderous woman jokes I make (which is massively disproportional to the 38% belief I have in all other bullshit that spews from my mouth.)

For example: it’s rounding on 5:30pm and I’m wondering what the fuck my roommate thinks she’s doing sitting on her ass on the mother fucking couch trying to learn shit when it should be in front of my stove boiling me up those goddamn perogies that have been sitting in the freezer for the last week. What the fuck does she think this is? Woman needs to get her fucking priorities in order.

Ok. I don’t mean that. Janie can’t cook for shit. As if I’d give that sad excuse for a broad the chance to make another mess in my fucking kitchen. Someone needs to revoke that bitch’s tits.

But really Janie, I love you. You know I do. Also we’re out of milk so… Get on that.

I went through my whole ‘feminist-rejection-of-all-things-resembling-traditional-femininity’ phase at fifteen so I’ve made my piece with all that shit. I’m comfortable enough with my own short coming to admit where I fulfill a few negative gender expectations.

I consider myself to be a modern independent woman but I’m not above using my female status as a scapegoat when I say, misread directions, drop things while performing physical labour, or spend 10min trying to decide what flavour of ice-cream I want. I have a vagina ok? I can’t help that shit. How else do you think I can pick up on things like sowing so quickly? I was born with fucking knitting patterns etched into the walls of my uterus.

Image

(Gentlemen, I give you a close up of the female G-Spot.)

And cleaning? I’m damn good at it. Hell, sometimes I even enjoy that shit. Get high off all the bleach and pine sole and just have a fucking ball. Plus no one can judge me for neglecting my own personal hygiene while I bus around the house in my yoga pants with the hole in the crotch, reeking of sweat and toilet bowl cleaner. BONUS!

Some bitches really just need to chill the fuck out and enjoy the warm fuzzy glow that comes with basking in your gender expectations. I’ve seen you chicks getting all bent out of shape over being told to make someone a sandwich. They’re just jokes ladies. All in good fun. Of course you do come across the rare ass-hat who’s misogyny is genuine. In which case go right for the balls girls.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Fun With Gender Stereotyping: Pt.1 Bitches

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s