I’m Not Dead, If Anyone Cares.

Hey there. It’s been a while. 11 days to be exact. For this I apologize. I’m so sorry baby. You know I love you and you know I don’t mean to hurt you like this. Just give me another chance. I can change…

Yeah, I’m a douche bag. The truth is I’ve had like 2 of those 11 days off since I last posted off and after work I’m too much of a lazy mass of shit to do much else. I’ll do better. This I solemnly swear to all 22 of you who apparently read this crap. While we’re on the subject of the 22 of you, who isn’t following me on twitter? The number’s don’t add up. Don’t you pay any attention to my twitter feed on the right side of your monitor? I’m fucking hilarious!

So how was your Halloween? Mine was lame as balls. I mean, my day to day life is one string of meaningless events, why would Halloween be any different? I’ll give you the play by play because this blog is as close to a boyfriend as I’ve got and someone has to listen to my pointless woman shit.

I woke up and watched Friday the 13th; Janie squealed when she saw Kevin Bacon’s bum. Then we got dressed up to go run a muck at the grocery store where some ignorant asshole mistook her Robin costume for Supergirl and I promptly dismissed what little love for humanity I still held.

We went home and roasted pumpkin seeds. Alone. Because no one likes us. Than baked muffins from the pre-packaged mix which we somehow still fucked up. All hard and sticking to the little paper cup, sleeve things and everything. They’re just terrible.

We then watched ‘Hocus Pocus’ while our broccoli pizza cooked and fucked with the placement of our strobe light to best enhance the menacing place of our makeshift Freddy Kruger dummy. Janie went to bed at 10pm because she’s a gaping pussy while I stayed up watching Cabin Fever and all the weird shit in the bonus features. Of course I did this alone. Because no one likes me.

We also have the biggest bowl of candy which we bought for the Trick or Treaters we knew weren’t coming as we live in an apartment building and you know, because no one likes us.

And that was my Halloween. I know! I know! “Quit it with the one sided conversation bullshit and make with the funny!” I’m sorry. I WILL have an actual post up by tomorrow afternoon I promise, but right now, I have to go to work…



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