10 & 1/2 Reasons To Start Watching ‘Game of Thrones’ Right Now

Game_of_Thrones_title_card-1

There are 31 days left until the season four premiere of Game of Thrones and I along with millions of others are eagerly anticipating the return of what may be one of the best series of all time.

Unfortunately for me the only person in my life who understands the significance of the fourth coming of Westeros is my mother. Somehow I’ve managed to surround myself with people who choose to ignore top quality television. Where did I go wrong?

The worse offender of this gross neglect has to be my roommate who somehow has managed to live with me without once experiencing the sheer brilliance of HBO’s envisioning of George R. R. Martin’s best selling series.

Other than my sister of course who insists on calling Grand Maester Pycelle, Jeor Mormont, and any other old beared man Dumbledore.
Other than my sister of course who insists on calling Grand Maester Pycelle, Jeor Mormont, and any other old beared man Dumbledore.

She always seems to have an excuse not to watch Game of Thrones. A few months ago it was “I still have to catch up on The Walking Dead and Face Off. I don’t have time to start a new show”, since then she’s started watching both Dexter and Teen Wolf. TEEN WOLF! She’ll binge watch Teen Wolf but wont even watch the pilot for Game of Thrones. Sometimes it’s hard being her friend.

Shoot, that show doesn't even have Michael J. Fox.
Shoot, the show doesn’t even have Michael J. Fox.

I can no longer sit back and watch this injustice. Drastic measures must be taken to ensure she’s ready for season four and with only a month left to catch up on three seasons of plot twists, betrayal, and an endless stream of characters I see no other way to go about this than to publicly shame her on the internet. This post is dedicated to my dear roommate Janie. Bitch, get your shit together.

I’ve complied a SPOILER FREE list of reasons why everyone should be watching Game of Thrones in hopes of converting the non-watchers and helping them see the light. I pass this list off to you darling readers in hopes that you too can help those you love see the error of their ways.

1. It’s A Fantasy with Appeal For Fantasy Haters.

The cool thing about Game of Thrones is that it is definately a fantasy series, it takes place in a fictional world of kings and knights and dragons but for non-fantasy fans it’s a period, political thriller. The main focus of the show is character dynamics, power scheming and war. Yes this is a world with magic, but you’re slowly introduced to this element so as not to overwhelm. It’s kind of a happy medium between Lord of the Rings and the Tudors.

All the wonder of Lord of the Rings with all the tit's of The Tudors.
All the wonder of Lord of the Rings with all the tits of The Tudors.

2. Disgusting Yet Satisfying Violence

What could you want more out of entertainment than some good old fashioned violence? Game of Thrones has plenty and they definitely aren’t afraid of showing it in all it’s gory glory.

The glorious, glorious gore.

With sword fights, beheadings, woman beatings, mutilations, direwolves and barbarians alike ripping throats out. You’ve got all the makings of a hit show.

3. Fast Pace and Mind Blowing Plot Twists

Unlike some shows I can mention (The Walking Dead), you’ll never watch the closing credits start to roll and be filled with that terrible feeling of “That’s it? Nothing even fucking happened!”. Game of Thrones has so much going on at any given time you’ll never be lulled to sleep by 20min long going no where conversations.

This whole half of the episode accomplished NOTHING.
“How about this for a plot twist, we’ll put two bitter foes set on killing each other in the same room and then… Nothing.”

Then there’s the damn plot twists, some you never see coming, and some you really should have seen coming but you were to wrapped up in your hope that something on this show wouldn’t turn to shit for Sean Bean and his family… They probably average in at 1.7 WTF plot twists per episode.  No show mind fucks you harder than Game of Thrones but trust me, you’ll like it.

I didn't want to but... I did! I liked it!
I didn’t want to but I did… I liked it!

4. A Dash of Romance

Where there’s sex there’s bound to be some romance and in this case we’re talking epic, medieval-esque, fantasy romance. You have Romeo and Juliet style star crossed lovers, and Jane Austen like social standing defying affairs what more do you sentimental gigglers want? It might not be as prominent as the touchy feely stuff on Teen Wolf but it’s there and it’s followed up by actual sex because it’s HBO and they do what they want. This brings us to the next point…

5. Ridiculous Amounts of Sex And Nudity

Game of Thrones is an HBO show, that means you’re guaranteed one thing no matter what the subject matter may be. That thing is tits. Lots and lots of tits. All in all this is a series with a lot of nudity sprinkled with graphic sex scenes for good measure. It’s very rare that you make it through a whole episode without some chick getting naked and people boning.

Don't you see Renly? We have to do it! Not to legitimize our marriage, but for the ratings!
“Don’t you see Renly? We have to do it! Not just to legitimize our marriage, but for the ratings!”

For those who are worried about not getting your fill of male nudity, I’m happy to inform you that season 3 saw a drastic increase in the amount of male booty so hopes for season four are high. Who knows? We may even get some full frontal from a guy who’s penis you’d actually like to see.

Because no one asked for this.
Because as much as we all love Hodor, we just don’t love him like that.

6. A Surplus of Badass Characters

One thing Game of Thrones has no shortage of is kick ass characters to root for. To name a few you’ve got the honourable Ned Stark and his vengeful daughter Arya who refuses to be limited by her status as a girl, Daenerys Mother of Dragons and her Dothraki warrior king husband, and lovable outcasts Brienne the female knight and Night’s Watch recruit Jon Snow.

7. Peter Fucking Dinklage

I don’t think there’s a character more universally beloved than Peter Dinklage’s Tyrion Lannister. He’s smart, funny, endearing, and he straight up doesn’t give a shit what you think. No words I have would do this great half man justice, you have to watch to understand.

FACT.
FACT.

Fans of plenty of series have threatened to riot over character deaths but if Game Of Thrones offs Tyrion there might actually be one.

8. Bringing People Together through Mutual Hatred

Just like EVERYONE loves Tyrion Lannister EVERYONE hates Joeffrey Baratheon. You might support opposing political parties, you might feel very different about legalizing pot, or you might have different opinions on Ben Affleck as Batman. None of that matters when watching Game of Thrones. You’re both hoping for someone to kill that saddistic, inbred little prick Joeffrey and you hope it’s slowly.

If they didn’t you wouldn’t be able to find 10min videos of this on youtube.

One day soon the world’s loathing of Joeffrey Baratheon will bring peace to all nations because nothing brings people together like wishing death on a child.

9. Fucking Dragons

The show has fucking dragons damn it! What else do you need? It’s a series with enough budget for some really decent looking dragons. That is quality programming if I’ve ever seen it.

See! FUCKING DRAGONS!

10. So You’ll Be Able To Follow the Internet this Spring

The Internet loves Game of Thrones and come April it will once again be flooded with memes, forums and spoilers. Unless you want to be confused and ostracized from the internet conversation for the next few months I suggest you get on board.

And what do we say on Sunday nights when our friend asks us to hang out?
And what do we say on Sunday nights when our friend asks us to hang out?

I’m sure you’re already aware of some of the bigger plot twist on the show thanks to the over pour of fan outrage and affection over the course of the last three seasons and if you plan to watch this show ever you better start watching ASAP

And if none of that appeals to you… there are some really cute puppies in the pilot.

Awe
Awe!
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12 thoughts on “10 & 1/2 Reasons To Start Watching ‘Game of Thrones’ Right Now

  1. patricksponaugle March 6, 2014 / 6:02 pm

    I can’t begin to praise this post sufficiently. To do so, I’d have to use a lot of praise-worthy expletives.

    April 6th can’t get here soon enough. One more month. One more month.

    I hope your efforts to evangelize your friends into watching Game of Thrones are successful, I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s a show that demands a peer group to interact with and talk about.

    It is known.

    Like

    • ellemorgan March 6, 2014 / 9:08 pm

      Thank you. And I know! It’s hard to make Lannister jokes about my roommate and her sister when they hold hands and such when she doesn’t understand the implications.

      Like

  2. Kelly March 6, 2014 / 8:33 pm

    Hell yes! I love the mind fuck, violence, dragons and sex. Counting the days to season premier. Great post, love your blog voice. Your roommate needs to get with the program. 🙂

    Like

    • ellemorgan March 6, 2014 / 9:04 pm

      I’m happy to announce she has. Tonight she took her first plunge into Westeros.

      Like

  3. jessruhlin March 7, 2014 / 8:37 am

    I got through about four episodes of series one and I felt like nothing happened except that one kid was pushed out of the window. Please say it picks up from there…otherwise I will stick to watching ‘Dance moms’…you are responsible for my bad taste ellemorgan!

    Like

    • ellemorgan March 7, 2014 / 1:49 pm

      What? How can you feel like nothing happened? So many things and it only gets crazier, you really have to give it another chance. ‘Dance Moms’? Geesh, I feel so sorry for the kids on that show.

      Like

  4. Brie March 7, 2014 / 11:48 am

    Reblogged this on Writer's Corner and commented:
    She touches on gore, hatred for Joffery and PETER FUCKING DINKLAGE!

    Like

  5. starwarsanon March 7, 2014 / 1:50 pm

    Great run down. We did see Theon’s penis at one point! It was brief…and I would like some more of other characters. Especially Rob’s. Oh wait.
    I’ll settle for Jon Snow.

    Like

    • ellemorgan March 8, 2014 / 5:36 pm

      ROB! I don’t remember… was that before or after it was in the box?

      Like

  6. YoungBlogger02 March 22, 2014 / 12:44 pm

    *Watching the GIF of Joffrey being slapped.* “YES! YES! AGAIN!!!!”

    Like

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