My Annual Performance Review

It’s been a while. How are you? I feel like we haven’t talked in like 17 days and that’s because that’s how long it’s been since I last posted. I totally suck and I’m totally sorry. Turns out I can’t balance work, social interaction, the internet, and writing but what mere mortal can? I mean have you seen the internet?

It's an irresistible all consuming black hole of endless knowledge and tits.
It’s an irresistible all consuming black hole of endless knowledge and tits.

What’s new with me, you ask? Nothing fucking much: I worked, I saw Debra Digiovanni (who is fucking HILARIOUS bee tee dubs), I worked, I was Jet Girl for Halloween to compliment my roommate’s Tank Girl, I worked some more, and someone at Marvel Studios totally reads my blog if their newly released phase 3 lineup is anything to go by. Hopefully their adaptions will live up to the synopsis’ I already wrote for them.

I’ll just sit back and wait for marvel to email me about my inevitable screenwriter credit…
I'll just wait for marvel to email me about my inevitable screenwriter credit.
Should I expect my check in the mail or do I need to set up a paypal?

At the very least they could hire me as a Production Assistant in thanks. I’m punctual, I’m motivated, I have a certificate in Motion Picture Production, I have no delusion about being too good to mop up the gaffer’s sweat puddles, and I order a mean cup of coffee.

But while I wait for Marvel Studios to call me about my new position I have no choice but to keep showing up for my current crappy retail job at a local drug store. This week one of my duties as an employee at one of many stores in a corporate chain, I must fill out my first annual Staff Performance Appraisal Form in order to achieve that $0.25 an hour raise I’ve been so deserving of since I took up the role of supervisor nearly 8 months ago.

For those of you lucky enough to have never had to fill up a Staff Performance Appraisal Form It’s exactly what it sounds like. Your manager gives you a sheet where you rate your performance and write about how you would like to improve (My manager asked for 5 points) which you then fill out with the utmost seriousness and professionalism that can be mustered while only pretending to give a shit. In this case I am opting to answer mine as honestly as possible. I’m currently filling it out from the safe haven of my bathroom as my roommate and I finally gave in and dished out the money for an actual router this week. Having wifi means I can finally surf the internet and post to my hearts content whilst pooping. The wonders of technology never cease to amaze me.

MockSPA
(If you’re blind click image for media file.)

Please don’t fire me.

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